Among friends, the idea of whether someone earns more is not always a serious issue. Sure, there may be animosities, but it is usually easy to deal with. This is especially because most friends don’t deal with the problem of juggling intimacy and financial responsibilities.
The situation is different with romantic couples. While many people hate to admit it, finance does play a significant role in relationships. Money has the power to fuel the momentum of love. But like any fuel, it can kindle the sparks one minute, and set everything ablaze the next.
According to dating expert Matthew Hussey, the key to dating someone more successful is to understand that their life purpose does not demean yours just because they earn more money than you do.
They danger of falling out of love is usually caused by the other person feeling that their purpose is less important than the more successful partner’s. Hussey says, we all need to realise that although somebody may earn more than we do, our time is just as valuable.
Two things to always remember
- Don’t make your partner’s success an excuse for bad behaviour
Sometimes, the person may be too busy; if they are not giving you time or the attention you deserve, them being successful is no reason to do things that would normally be an issue in any relationship. It is normal for people to want to justify their resentment because their partner is not home early or always travelling. If you are taking it out on them in one way or the other, remember, two wrongs don’t make a right.
- Don’t compromise the things you love just because your partner earns more than enough for the household
It is easy for a spouse to ‘take a back seat’ in the relationship while the more successful partner handles the finances. After all, money is perceived to no longer be a problem. But there are many things wrong with this attitude:
- Work Is not always about money, but a sense of purpose and fulfilment. If you are passionate about childcare, then working with children is not necessarily about the money. Do what you love for your own happiness.
- Being idle increases feelings of resentment. Without something to occupy you while your partner is away on long trips, your attitude towards the relationship will diminish faster.
- Think about the future. Giving up on your career may put you at a disadvantage if you decide to join the industry after years without practice. It may have moved beyond your strengths. Besides, some employers pay attention to significant gaps in your resume.
What if you are no longer in the relationship? It will be a difficult if you don’t have sufficient savings, especially if both of you were never married.
Both men and women can be affected by the success of their spouses. The solution is to learn to live together despite the earnings either person brings to the table. If you respect each other and understand that each person’s time is just as valid as the other, the relationship should sail smoothly.